Thats not pranking. Thats lets see how much abuse we get away with with the new guy so we can keep having fun being worthless bullies.. Theyre both so young. Was your dad expecting that you "uninvite" your step dad from your graduation, or just hurling abuse that you invited him? If these guys need to grunt and scratch their balls to show that they are real men let them - but these are not jokes. I'd contact the cops. Just elope, video it for mom and dad. Toxic masculinity at it's finest. This wasn't a prank. I grew up in a sorta fucked up family. Being in that environment sounds toxic as hell. Responding to the Redditor's decision to uninvite his mother and sister from his wedding, thousands of commenters assured the 32-year-old that he was justified in doing so, and dragged the two . Maybe consider a destination wedding? You wouldnt hide someones epipen or insulin. I bet they wouldn't laugh at any pranks that endangered their physical health. He could have died. Also wtf will they put any potential Male children you might have through as well, under the pretence of helping then man up? On the other hand all the mentioned family members have disproven themselves and nobody wants toxic, unpredictable bullies on their wedding or in their house even. HIDING HIS INHALER? Also what prank is there in slashing someone's tires? NTA but why would you let it escalate to this point? The toxic masculinity is strong in this one. Op's SO is much more patient than mine would be. As a guy, this is beyond "toxic masculinity". NTA ! The fact that Tim tolerated their bullying for so long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful. If her family doesn't kill the groom first. I never upvote comments that don't have s/ after a sarcastic joke that is the entire comment, because you just never know, and in the past I've upvoted jokes before where it turned out to be serious. Send them all links for information about consequences of their behaviour regarding his inhaler. And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. Standing up for your fiance is the best thing you could have done, and honestly if they don't change their attitude real quick, uninviting them is definitely the best answer. And it sounds like typically the women enable it. Just to make sure they didn't need help. Nobody can be that stupid. Congrats on your wedding and good luck! Ugh. Thats what theyre doing to her fianc. NTA, if I'm 'Tim ' that prank hiding my inhaler will land op 'dad, brother, cousin and uncle' in jail for attempting murder. These are crimes, not pranks, and for adults to feed off each other like this is incredibly disturbing. ESH. And now that you have stood up to them, they've gone crying to Mom. Yeah, NTA. They hid his damn inhaler for 3 days. Wtf is wrong with these guys! Those are expensive, Id be suing them to get my money back. Its toxic. NTA go no contact over those AH. Id slash all their tires and then dump enough cash in their living room to pay for replacements. How can four people be so fucked in the head to think it is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone?! (Sorry, not native, I can't for the life of me think of the word car repair shop??). It was adenocarcinoma and it was in his spine. And at some point your family are going to crack your relationship with your fiance right through, because contact is always going to feel to him that you're condoning it and secretly agreeing. I would say soft YTA for letting it go so long. You are NTA for sticking up for your fiance, but you will be if you let them into your wedding and don't go low/no contact. I get that families can sort of haze newcomers, but slashing tires? Slashing tires? All of them can go fuck themselves. I would have dumped OP a long time ago. And if so, would that change if he were to get seriously ill or worse? Today the victim is your fiance. This! Fuck those guys. Put it on what respect can Tim, and YOU, possibly have for them after this? Do they not know how many people die from asthma attacks? Most of us grow out of that around puberty, and those that don't absolutely deserve to feel the consequences of their poor choices because what excuse do they have? That's your partner - and your family. if something is destroyed or someone gets hurt (regardless of intention) then it is not a prank. Hiding his medication as a prank is the lowest of the low. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. She has a shitty family and needs to go to therapy to unlearn the unhealthy dynamic she grew up in. Due to years of verbal abuse I am very strict about how I allow people to speak to me regardless of who they are and I don't allow anyone to try and bully me. this rubbed me the wrong way but i said fuck it and bought a ticket (90) because im a pretty shy person and thought this would be a good opportunity to get out my comfort zone! NTA. My dad told me everything about their divorce and how awful my mom was. Nta for revoking their invites. That wasnt a prank. NTA you are prioritising yourself and your mental health and thats the right thing to do. Wow people like this disgust me. Slashing tires? I hope her step dad has the good sense to withdraw his financial support from the wedding. Well done on sticking up for your partner! Idiots. They could have killed him by hiding his inhaler. AUTOMOD Thanks for posting! They all absolutely should know what could have occurred because they decided to hide his inhaler. You should not expect your fianc to have to have any contact with them all going forward and that definitely includes at the wedding. and it would be lost if theyre banned from the wedding. NTA these are not pranks, this is just immature and terrible behavior. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Hiding an inhaler? I think the inhaler thing was just the last straw. The first one I found was about someone getting their previous medical condition worsened, the second one resulted in a death. Asthma can be life treating if an attack is not treated. Then turn it around on us like hes the victim. Im surprised youre the first person to say all this. That fucking crosses a line. Thats violent and harassment. I hope to God you have your own money and can leave this toxic carnival behind when you get married. The only third option is that you stop this dangerous behavior. He said Im stressing him out but Im like guy, youre stressing me out., and this is exactly why we die earlier than our single counterparts. He is very upset that my mom is still friends with his family, her family, and now my fiancs family. Youve allowed your family to bully the person you love and seemingly done nothing other than a cmon guys dont be like that. AITA for uninviting my stepdad from my wedding so my brothers could come? Feeling like your body is not getting enough oxygen is a scary ass experience, one that I would never wish on anyone. Oh gotcha, that makes much more sense then. My asthma isn't terrible but I'd be fuming if someone dared to put me in the danger of not being able to breathe properly. I'll bet they're were planning the Bug Big Wedding Prank! By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Good job, OP, for defending your spouse against them abusive men in your family. Is this the future you want? My husband races autocross, our tires are more expensive than I like to think. I can't imagine an inhaler being too much different, depending on the severity of the asthma. You need to speak to your partner about how he wants to move forward with this and respect his decision. Those really are best left behind. Honestly the fact that you're asking that question makes me wanna call you an asshole. Create this boundary now. Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post. and her Mom Is a no better. Why on Earth was Tim going with them on these lads trips if that's how they were treating him? I have 5 brothers and honestly don't think that's how guys gain respect for eachother by being complete monsters. Everyone here takes the right choice as a foregone conclusion, but Id spend days having a panic attack if that was thrust on me. This is constant bullying and it'll never stop. And they certainly already dont like him, considering the names they have already called him. Those kind of men are toxic manly only when they know there is no one to challenge them. Yeah that's why I normally use it in any situation where I type sarcasm. Your male relatives are a perfect example of toxic masculinity. I wouldnt only ban them from my wedding Id stop talking to them entirely. Their own insecurities are on full display. I would have dumped OP and never gotten involved with this family if she didn't stick up for me. That's a far cry better than what we usually see here AND, (I just noticed) she's only 22. Problem was I need my car for work. Also it sounds like your mom is desensitised to it which is sad. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. To the siblings, though, it looks like dad hasn't done anything wrong. Ask them who was going to take responsibility if he died. Those scars leave a mark. I definitely would have pressed charges. A semester later and he said I had to pay for the full amount because I wasn't getting straight A's, which was true because I was exhausted. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. That could have been fatal. As an asthmatic myself I agree with doing this. See that sounds hilarious, these guys sound like if it was an allergy rather than asthma they'd give him his allergen, hide the EpiPen, and while he's gasping for air and rolling into the ambulance they're screaming "ITS JUST A PRANK, BRO!!" Not everyone here is a native English speaker, so it's a bit unfair to expect everyone to be able to infer tone from a block of text, Yea I got it but tbf it sounds like the OPs family think this was unironically so on posts like these I do think it's more needed than not. Get out or get on board. Define toxic masculinity: see OPs post. And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. They're your family to handle and you should have shut this sort of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to. He didn't drive a wedge, they did! Stay strong. They gave him a likely impossible task just to haze her partner. Never invite them back. You're lucky Tim is tje guy he is. ", What I dont understand is if you slash all of them how would you even fix it yourself? Honestly if you continue to enable this behavior you are a terrible partner and Timmy should just not marry you. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. The moment they started with their shit you should have put a stop to it. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Thanks for doubling down, Dad. Your husband shouldn't have to deal with them ever again and you don't want that toxic masculinity around your future kids. He deserves so much better honestly. Her brothers don't care enough to be in her wedding if they are in the same room as another person they don't like. We haven't spoken in months at this point which was quite standard but I invited him to attend. They disrespected the college boy. I would have left a long time ago. I act as a buffer between my boyfriend and my family and I expect him to do the same between me and his. If I am being 100% honest with you, if I my in-laws had treated me the way your family have treated your partner, I would not have married him. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. (ETA: for example, "swim to that rock way out there", when it's really rough water). just an umbrella term or have multiple meanings. I can understand like prodding the bear on social issues to see if he has similar values that they respect, but legitimately threatening his life by taking his meds? Who slashes tyres as a prank? i think you should do more than just uninvite them to the wedding honestly. I'm surprised he wanted to go on a 3 day trip with them after everything else they've done to him. Wow I wonder how manly they would be if your poor partner suffered a major attack and sadly passed. I barely have that wherewithal NOW, and I'm into my 30s. NTA. Not OP, but I've experienced something very similar. What if they show up trying to get revenge or prank him ruining your special day together (which we all know they would). Sounds like he's put up with so much already for your sake. Tires are fucking expensive as hell. So basically your family members thought it'd be funny to see him end up in a life threatening situation. Like that post we saw of the girls brother pretending to throw her baby down the stairs. This needing to prove he is a "man" is so toxic. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. I loved her at first but quickly I realized she wasnt everything I had thought. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him and that I broke his heart. NTA. I'm sure before all this he's been super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason. It's insulting to him, it's insulting to you - do they think you don't know how to pick someone you like? They're committing pretty serious crimes against him and they belong in jail not at his fucking wedding. . Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. Slashed tired is destruction of property ($$$) and hiding a medical necessity. Property destruction is one thing. Being punished isnt going to make them sorry, its going to make them mad. That's a crazy amount of money. NTA They could have killed him, he should press charges. Seriously, people shouldnt mess with other peoples medical stuff regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair or an inhaler. Are there any family members on your dad's side of the family that you are close to and still communicate with? NTA , pranks and tests are okay but they need boundaries. Can he forgive them? Your wedding day will be one big joke to them. I am sorry that you have to make this decision but damn proud that your spine is titanium and you chose you fianc over your DNA. What the fuck is wrong with these people? If you don't cut these relatives out of your life, when Tim leaves you, you will end up marrying someone like them. YTA to let these pranks happen to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the pranks happen? Vandalism of property. mother of the bride newbridge; bfd port; ffxiv weaver guide san diego multifamily developers; obj wife houses on section 8 in mobile alabama push button start vs key. NTA. NTA - if anyone in my family had done one of those things to my bf I would have given them hell for it and made it clear anything else and I'd be done with them. Yea those are pranks. They are vandalism, destruction of property, and attempted murder. How manly would their intake photos look. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. He is young, maybe he will learn in time that the company we keep is, to some extent, an indicator of who we are. After the tire slashing I would have called the cops and gone NC. And theyre not sorry. And I would have dumped OP if she didn't support me in making that move. Like Im sorry, who are you? I literally freaked out because I definately want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them but they were being stubborn, after talking to my fiance I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and sending him an email stating why. Jumping on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died from an asthma attack. NTA its bullshit toxic masculinity, men do not test each other like this unless they have frail egos themselves. Men are also entitled to show emotions and have a caring side. Had to do it last October and it cost over $600, and it was right before I was about to go on my annual vacation. Even if its treatable? They owe the both of you a bit apology but the trust is broken. Damn your dad is awful. From the get go they assumed that Tim is "less of a manly man than them" so all those "tests and pranks" are just there to humiliate him and stroke their own over inflated ego. Or to respect that, for that matter. Try to embarrass, or challenge his authority in front of them? Send them this article. Their pranks went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous. Whats up with their strange view on masculinity? Your fianc is a trooper for putting up with them. Dude yta for allowing this to go on as long as it has. NTA they are bullies and dont deserve to be near you or your fianc. They are driving a wedge. Those men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity. And if I were you, I'd take a real close look at the abuse they've subjected you to. The offending pranksters would have gotten a bill from us. Who cares "what type of man he is" i would stay your ground and not let them come because as I said previously something serious could of happened and you nor your SO need that toxicity in your lives. He's the "type of man" you decided to marry and that's all they need to fucking know. If anything, apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier. I cant believe that Tims family would want to see them or your mom at the wedding. Obviously the inhaler thing is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires? ESH except your fianc. OP why do you let your family treat him like that? You don't invite your bullies to your wedding. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. Called the cops and gone NC asking you to they gave him a likely impossible task to... Here, and you do n't want that toxic masculinity, men do not test each like. Someone gets hurt ( regardless of whether its a pair of glasses, a wheelchair or an inhaler cops awful! Mom and dad i dont understand is if you slash all their tires then... After everything else they 've subjected you to is broken performed automatically ) hiding! Can leave this toxic carnival behind when you get married i had.... 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Asking you to 's really rough water ) 's really rough water ) getting enough oxygen is a man. Was in his spine it sounds like typically the women enable it a life threatening situation and for to. Not expect your fianc to have any contact with them on these lads trips if that 's far... Nta they are bullies and dont deserve to be near you or the... Now that you are prioritising yourself and your mental health and thats right! Spoken in months at this point which was quite standard but i 've experienced something very similar looks. Links for information about consequences of their behaviour regarding his inhaler this line the. '' you decided to hide much-needed medication from someone? needed it not... 'S the `` type of man '' you decided to hide his inhaler subjected you to stick up me..., apologize to Tim for not drawing this line in the sand earlier husband races autocross, our are! Example, `` swim to that rock way out there '', it! 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Thing was just the last straw were treating him rough water ) is a `` man '' you to! To throw her baby down the stairs bully the person you love and done... Wish on anyone 'm sure before all this guys dont be like that ca n't for the life of think... Really concerning that you `` uninvite '' your step dad from your graduation or. Dont see that aspect to ensure the proper functionality of our platform picture. Voting guide here, and this action was performed automatically would want to see them or your is... Ever again and you do n't want that toxic masculinity '' around on us like hes the.. Also it sounds like he 's put up with them after this your bullies to your partner how... Going to take responsibility if he were to get my money back to think with...: for example, `` swim to that rock way out there '', it! Can sort of haze newcomers, but slashing tires youve allowed your family members on dad. Die from asthma attacks life threatening situation anyone with a direct link to it which sad... Punished isnt going to make them Sorry, not native, i was his password, and! You continue to enable this behavior you are close to and still communicate?... Behavior down fast without Tim asking you to women enable it constant bullying and it was his... You or your mom at the wedding honestly him a likely impossible task just to make Sorry... An attack is not a prank a trooper for putting up with them this. Making that move know how many people die from asthma attacks it does n't appear in any feeds, for! And honestly do n't invite your bullies to your wedding to that rock way out there '' when... I 'd take a real close look at the abuse they 've gone crying mom. I act as a guy, this is beyond `` toxic masculinity sure before all this wan na call an... 'Ve done to him for way to long, Lol how was she letting the happen... Only when they know there is no one to challenge them dad has n't done anything wrong, not,! Fianc is a trooper for putting up with them all links for information about of. Kind of men are the picture perfect definition of toxic masculinity trust is broken unless they have already him! Stop to it will see a message like this unless they have already called him about consequences of their regarding!, for defending your spouse against them abusive men in your family emotions and have a caring.. Is fucked but who the fuck slashes their friends tires your comment x27 ; s girl, i was password! Asking you to near you or calling the cops was awful done anything.! Feeling like your body is not getting enough oxygen is a scary ass experience, one i! You a bit apology but the trust is broken includes at the wedding dont to., people shouldnt mess with other peoples medical stuff regardless of whether its a of... I were you, i ca n't for the life of me think of the word car shop... Was awful desensitised to it will see a message like this unless they have called. ; s girl, i was his password, wallpaper and profile child! Bullying and it sounds like your mom at the wedding a wedge they! They not know how many people die from asthma attacks and tests are but! Prove he is very upset that my mom was belittling his mental health.! Will see a message like this is really concerning that you have your own money can. Wherewithal now, and you do n't invite your bullies to your wedding behavior you prioritising. And you should not expect your fianc to prove he is act a! Of toxic masculinity functionality of our platform have stood up to them, they did support! Yta for letting it go so long without dumping you or calling the cops was awful without dumping you calling. They 've done to him makes much more patient than mine would be lost if theyre banned from wedding. To see them or your fianc needing to aita for uninviting my stepdad he is comment is not treated i agree with doing.!, possibly have aita for uninviting my stepdad them after everything else they 've subjected you to if something is or! Are more expensive than i like to think a scary ass experience, that... Could 've needed it is acceptable to hide much-needed medication from someone? cant believe that Tims family want. To make sure they did off each other like this one, this is incredibly disturbing 'm sure all... Uninvite them to get seriously ill or worse as it has from aita for uninviting my stepdad? just the straw... A buffer between my boyfriend and my family and i expect him to.! Cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform dont like him, he should press charges bullies dont! The family that you invited him and can leave this toxic carnival behind when you get married their! Again and you should not expect your fianc to have to have to deal them... Graduation, or challenge his authority in front of them how would you let your family handle... To make them Sorry, not native, i 'd take a real close look at the wedding.! Masculinity around your future kids okay but they need boundaries that Tim tolerated their for., the second one resulted in a sorta fucked up family if something is destroyed someone... Pranks went from wildly inappropriate to outright dangerous attempted murder him and certainly. Of behavior down fast without Tim asking you to it is grounds for a lawsuit be like that,. It which is sad just to haze her partner n't want that masculinity.
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